WHOLE DUDE – WHOLE GOSPEL :
This is a real story revealed to me by a real person who prefers to wear Levi jeans and collects paychecks from Taxpayers. He had served as a Staff Sergeant in U.S. Army and had participated in Iraq War and his Unit was deployed at several locations in Iraq including the Capital City of Baghdad. I believe that he could be the reincarnation of Saint Matthew, the author of the Gospel according to Matthew. However, this Matthew who wears Levi jeans is prone to anger and to distinguish him from Saint Matthew I would call him Angry Matthew. You will easily understand his proneness to anger, he angers very fast; once he tried to literally blow me away into bits when he attacked the car that I was driving with a deadly missile. I had luckily survived that attack; my car got hit and rolled over several times and was totally destroyed and yet I escaped unhurt. Angry Matthew amused himself taking photo images of this terrible car mishap using his mobile phone device. My friend, ‘Hoshea’ likes to describe Angry Matthew as an “Instigator”, a person who instigates great trouble. Angry Matthew frequently uses costumes of Dracula or other Ghoulish personalities to reveal his blood thirsty nature. Since he is the reincarnation of Apostle Matthew, he also displays his love for his colleagues and often serves them with delicious meals. I am able to share the Gospel Story that Angry Matthew revealed to me while he was in a moment of relaxed mood when I had inquired him if he had ever fired his personal weapon during his entire tour of duty in Iraq. Angry Matthew never got a chance to use his personal weapon and he is still very disappointed about this missed opportunity and a life of forced celibacy in Iraq. The Whole Gospel According to Angry Matthew reveals the prophecy of Jesus Christ’s Second Coming. It is very important to carefully understand the most important elements of the Gospel According to Saint Matthew and its relevance to the Gospel Story that is revealed by Angry Matthew. To introduce to you the ‘Whole Gospel’, the Gospel Story According to Angry Matthew, that describes the vision of Jesus Christ’s Second Coming, there are two central events associated with the Coming of Jesus as the Savior must be discussed.
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SAINT MATTHEW :
The Gospel of Matthew was written in Greek language; is the most highly valued, most popular, and widely read of the four Gospels. This is revealed not only by its position in the canon, it is found in first place in most of the known lists of the Gospels but also by the fact of its widespread citation and for it is by far the most often quoted Gospel. Matthew, the Apostle(The Book of Matthew, Chapter 10, verse 3) was eyewitness to the most significant events of Christ’s life and mission. Matthew(Greek. Maththaios) was initially known as Levi, a tax collector(telones) whom Jesus met at the tax office(Matthew, Chapter 9, verse 9). Levi changed his name to Matthew( Hebrew. “Gift of Yahweh”) and it may mean “Amittai” or “True”, when he became a disciple of Jesus. He carefully recorded all the teachings and sayings of Jesus and the Book of Matthew is the teaching Gospel par excellence. Matthew’s Gospel is also the Gospel of fulfillment and it is especially concerned with showing that Christ is the fulfillment of the Revelations of The Old Testament. Matthew’s Gospel is the historical record of Jesus Christ, the King of Jews. It describes the birth of the King, the preparation of the King, the Law of the kingdom, the power of the King, the proclamation of the kingdom, the rejection of the King, the growth of the kingdom, the Mission of the King, the fellowship of the kingdom, the Triumphal entry of King into Jerusalem, the consummation of the kingdom, the death and Resurrection of the King, and finally the great challenge of the kingdom. I would like to focus upon the most important event of Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem as a King in a ceremonial procession.
CROSS AND DONKEY CROSS – THE SYMBOLIC REPRESENTATION OF REDEMPTION :
Cross(Greek. Stauros) : There are three biblical uses of the term: first, the wooden instrument of torture; second, the Cross as a symbolic representation of redemption; third, death on the Cross, i.e., Crucifixion. The English word ‘Cross’ is derived from the Latin ‘Crux’. The Cross existed in different forms, the most important form is known as ‘The Crux immissa’, the type of Cross usually presented in Art in which the upright beam extends above the cross beam, and traditionally this depiction of Cross is held to be the Cross on which the ‘Redeemer’ suffered and died. It is often called the ‘Latin form of Cross. Because of the sacrificial death of the Savior on the Cross, it is presented as the medium of Reconciliation(The Epistle of Apostle Paul to Ephesians, Chapter 2, verse 16) between man and God. In The Epistle of Apostle Paul to the Colossians, Chapter 1, verse 20, it is stated that Peace has been effected through the Cross and Chapter 2, verse 14 also claims that the penalties of the law have been removed from the believer by the Cross. The Epistle of Apostle Paul to the Galatians, Chapter 2, verse 20 says that man is crucified with Christ and lives by faith of the Son of God. Crucifixion is a dreaded event, and in common usage, the cares and troubles of life are often compared to a Cross. Kindly examine the connection between Cross and the humble Donkey which man used as a beast of burden.
Donkeys are domesticated descendants from African ass( true ass ) known as Eqqus asinus which belongs to the Horse family of Equidae. Donkeys derived from Nubian and Somalian subspecies of African wild ass have served mankind since 4,000 B.C. It is tamed and trained for work. It is sturdy, surefooted, known for its endurance and for its ability to carry heavy loads. Donkeys were a fundamental part of economy, they undertook heavy work on the farm and sometimes used for personal transportation. In the southwestern United States, the small donkey is known as ‘Burro’, the word for donkey in Spanish language. Many Americans are very fond of eating ‘burrito’, a Mexican dish consisting of a flour tortilla wrapped around a filling of meat, cheese, refried beans, etc. However, most Americans are not familiar with the crosswise stripes on Donkey’s back that could be termed as ‘Donkey Cross’. Donkey is frequently mentioned in the Books of Bible; Prophet Abraham’s journey of testing, with his son Issac, was made with a donkey(The First Book of Moses, Genesis, Chapter 22, verses 3,5), Balaam’s donkey was given the temporary power of speech in order to rebuke the foolish prophet(The Fourth Book of Moses, Numbers, Chapter 22, verses 21-33), Israelites captured some 61,000 donkeys from the Midianites(The Fourth Book of Moses, Numbers, Chapter 31, verse 34). Mule is the offspring of a male donkey and a horse mare and it is sterile. King David introduced the use of mule for riding. In the Biblical times, mules were used by kings, officials, and army officers for personal transportation. Jesus Christ, the one coequal with God descended to the agony and torture of death due to Crucifixion by riding on the back of a donkey to fulfill the prophecy of Zechariah 9:9:
“Tell the daughter of Zion,
‘Behold, your King is coming to you.
Lowly, and sitting on a donkey,
A colt, the foal of a donkey.”
It is very interesting and important to note the difference in the narration of this event. In the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 21, verse 2, Jesus instructs two of his disciples, “Go into the village opposite you, and immediately you will find a (female) donkey tied, and a colt(young, male donkey) with her. Loose them and bring them to Me.” In the Gospel According to Mark, Chapter 11, verse 2, in the Gospel According to Luke, Chapter 19, verse 30, and in the Gospel According to John, Chapter 12, verse 14, no mention was made about the female donkey which was needed by Jesus and fetched by His disciples. Many Biblical scholars are not able explain this apparent discrepancy in the four Gospel accounts and they are not certain if one or two donkeys are involved and the gender identity of the donkey(s) that Jesus used for His victorious entry into Jerusalem. The four Gospel accounts are incomplete and have not revealed the Whole Story of the Donkey and the Donkey Cross. In the Gospel According to Angry Matthew, this discrepancy about the number and gender of donkeys is fully resolved and the donkey proudly displays its Donkey Cross to give a true sense of joy and bliss to Angry Matthew and changed his life completely.
THE WHOLE GOSPEL – THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ANGRY MATTHEW :
On a very dark Sunday night in the City of Baghdad, Angry Matthew was on duty at a checkpoint with members of his Infantry Company conducting vital security operations to defend the City from attacks by insurgents. It was calm and there were no suspicious movements. Suddenly, the very alert Angry Matthew noticed a pair of donkeys slowly marching towards his post under the cover of the darkness. Donkeys and Donkey carts in Baghdad have been used by insurgents to fire rockets and missiles. There was no cart and they had approached the checkpoint without making any kind of noise. Angry Matthew was intently observing this donkey pair using his night vision goggles and was surprised to see the shadow of a person riding on the back of the lead donkey. He wanted to immediately shoot at that shadowy figure and alerted his other buddies to get ready for action. The buddies calmly reacted and told Angry Matthew that they could not confirm the presence of any person riding the back of the donkey. They decided to withhold fire and wanted to continue their observation. Angry Matthew’s mood suddenly changed and he lost his sense of suspicion and mistrust and all alone he decided to move closer to the donkeys to get an intimate look. He dropped his gun in the checkpoint and moved forward like a curious kid, and he was seeing a donkey at such a close distance for the first time in his entire life. He was amazed when he saw the vision or apparition of Jesus riding on the back of the donkey. He immediately fell to his knees, and started shouting, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, My King and My Savior.” He started jumping with joy and went dancing around the donkey pair, running in circles. He soon recognized the gender identity of the donkey pair; one is a female, and the second one is a colt, or young male. The donkeys understand human moods, human language and human actions. The female enjoyed the moments of devoted attention and the sense of pure happiness in the actions of Angry Matthew. The colt started getting aroused by the cheerful mood of its female companion. As Angry Matthew continued to dance around them, the colt swiftly mounted on the back of the female and started to penetrate it with deep, rhythmic pushes with its very long, strong, personal organ that looked like a short barrel gun. When the colt placed its forefeet on top of the female, and stood on its hind legs, Angry Matthew could immediately recognize the ‘Donkey Cross’ on its back. He immediately accepted the Cross as the medium of reconciliation, and as the Symbol of Peace, and felt totally relieved from all the burdens and penalties of his hard, military life in Baghdad. Angry Matthew did not want to miss the glorious view of the ‘Donkey Cross’. He encouraged the colt to stay up and to keep pushing and mating with the lively female. He spontaneously loved the act of Lovemaking. He burst into a song:
” Make Love, Love, Love, and make more Love,
I have no need for War, War, War and no more War.”
The donkey pair fully shared the excitement and enthusiasm and performed the longest ever recorded mating dance. As the dawn slowly arrived, the donkey pair moved out and vanished quickly without any trace. Angry Matthew simply collapsed to the ground. His buddies from the checkpoint quickly moved to give him help. They tried and could not get him to respond. Without wasting any more time, they got him evacuated to the Field Hospital where Angry Matthew recovered his consciousness after three days. By the time, he opened his eyes, Angry Matthew found that he cannot do the job of being a Sergeant in U.S. Army. He is fully reconciled, he has found Peace and accepted medical disability pension to find satisfaction in Life seeking the memory of the Donkey Cross and the mystical vision of his Savior who came to him riding on the back of a humble Donkey of Baghdad. He fully realized as to why Jesus had asked His disciples to fetch the female donkey and the colt. He got a glimpse of his previous life; his life as Apostle Matthew, the witness of Jesus’s entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. After the ride into Jerusalem, Jesus allowed the donkey pair to relax and enjoy the moment. Jesus as He prepared Himself for the ultimate sacrifice, wanted man to recognize that Lovemaking is not a sin and it is a natural God-given instinct. He gave permission to the young, virile, colt to fully display the Donkey Cross on its back while it enjoyed the feast of ravishing the female partner. The Cross is not inconsistent with expression of Sexual Love and does not condemn man to a life of total celibacy and total sexual abstinence. Now, Angry Matthew knows that the Second Coming of Jesus Christ would be on a dark Sunday night, and he is expecting that the mystery of the Second Coming would come into open, and full display of all mankind in the City of Baghdad.
Whole Dude wants to ask, do you recognize the Donkey Cross as the symbol of Redemption? Please share your experience of Donkey Cross and Donkey Lovemaking and join me in a Whole Conversation.
- Whole Dude and Whole Flavor (wholedude.com)
- Whole Dude – Get a Ticket to Whole Life (wholedude.com)
- Whole Dude – Whole Gay (wholedude.com)
Leave a comment